Maybe it’s never happened to you…But, after being hurt a few times over the years by female friendships, I went through a point in my life where I determined it was best to build an imaginary wall and refrain from getting too close to anyone other than my husband and family members.  In our really early years of marriage, I remember telling my husband, “I don’t need girlfriends–they’ll just talk behind my back or ditch me when I need them most.”  As I look back on making this statement, my husband was probably thinking, “Oh great…more pressure on me!” LOL… I now roll my eyes and cringe over that statement because our cancer journey has completely shifted my paradigm about female friendships.  Let’s be honest. There are some things ONLY a woman really understands, am I right?  It is my belief, we were created to connect with one another and friendships are a gift from God.

We determined in the last post that everyone needs a sister or someone like a sister in their life, ESPECIALLY when life feels tough.  In my opinion, every woman is gifted with a particular set of strengths.  If our eyes are open and our hearts are willing, God will use each of our strengths to encourage, support and show love to those who are hurting.

EVERYONE NEEDS A ANGIE.

We’ve known each other for 19 years. (Ugh…that makes me feel old!)  We spent a lot of time together in college because we were on the same cheerleading squad.  After we graduated, we both got married and life got busy.  About 7 years ago, I left my job to be a stay-at-home-mom.  About 6 years ago, Angie told me she was leaving her job to stay home.  At that point, we reconnected because we live in the same town and our kids are close to the same ages.  At first, none of our kids were in school, so we both joined the local M.O.P.S (Mothers of Preschoolers) group to give us something outside of the house to do and to meet some other moms with young children.  When our oldest kids started kindergarten, our youngest kids started preschool.  We both had been out of any exercise routine for a while, so on certain preschool days, we both agreed to meet a few times a week to run/walk.  We even joined a gym and participated in exercise classes together for a few months.

Although we were fairly close friends when my son was diagnosed, Angie wasn’t one of the first people I notified.  I still don’t really know why, except maybe the initial shock of the diagnosis made me have a lapse in brain function.  But, the honest truth is I don’t know what I would have done over the past 2 years if I didn’t have her in my life.

Here’s a little bit about what makes Angie so special.  She is always up for anything and you can count on her.  She’s the friend who will text and say, “You want to go to lunch next week?”  When the plans are made, she’s on time and doesn’t cancel at the last minute.  She’s a researcher, so when we make plans to go to lunch, I LOVE the fact she usually has a new place in mind for us to try.

When it comes to the latest fashion and beauty trends, we agree that we both fall on the low-maintenance side.  So, she surprised me the other day when she said, “Have you heard anything about the contour make-up people are talking about? I’ve watched some YouTube videos and think I’d like to learn how.  Would you want to learn, too?”  I didn’t know what she was talking about, but watched a video on it when I got home and agreed it looked interesting.  So, Angie searched around to see where we could learn more.  As of last week, we both made our first trip to Sephora, learned the basics of contouring and walked out with the stuff to attempt it on our own.  It was such a fun day doing something together, as well as out of the ordinary for us!

Based on personal experience, I can tell you that moms dealing with a critically ill child need a “Angie” or two.  When you’re the caregiver, your ill child becomes your whole focus.  It’s so easy to convince yourself that your own physical, mental, emotional and social well-being don’t matter.  Whether she knows it or not, Angie has helped pull me out of the trenches so many times and I will always be grateful for her friendship.

If you’re dealing with a difficult situation right now, I hope you have a “Angie” in your life.  If you think you’re a “Angie” and not sure what to do for a friend traveling a rough road, simply follow Angie’s example: Be open to new adventures, invite the struggling friend to escape for a moment from their reality by doing something fun, then follow through with the plans.